Bread in a can

(photo from the Onion AV club)


Barefeet:

that is sort of what i thought the soul looked like when i was a kid

honest to god

Barf and Pens: A Photojournalistic Attempt at Assigning Human Attributes to Nonhuman Markets by Allegorizing Trading-Floor Employees

The first thing to go for Bob was the lips.










Agents experienced a nauseating warping of the space-time continuum when the Dow dipped below 8,000 and took their names away.










"I never should've ordered that trailer for my Eskimo mistress."









Nausea gave way to headaches as agents continued to suffer at the hands of unoriginal photographers with expensive cameras.











"Why are my hands so small! Think what I could have done with bigger hands!"















"You know why this happened, don't you, Peter? Because you wore blue on a Tuesday! You know you always wear the yellow on a Tuesday, and I wear the blue! THIS IS WHY THE METS WILL NEVER WIN THE PENNANT!"














Having lost the retirement savings of everyone he knows, Agent 1224 hopes for a few nits.














"Ramen! I'm never going to be able to eat anything but ramen!"
















944's deepest regret was that he hadn't splurged on nicer pants.














Because of the Dow, no one noticed when someone pushed his left index finger right into the skull of Chris Kattan Jimmy Fallon.



*****Idea by Jenny (and Stephen Colbert, as it turns out); most photos gathered by Jenny; captions by Jenny and me.